Dick Swinging Contest

The news from twitter hasn’t been super good. There are rumors that police gassed a mosque in Dolmabahce that had been opened as a sort of field hospital for those who are injured in the protests. Can’t find it print, but there are a lot of things I know have happened that I can’t find in print. Good job, gang. Some Americans have been arrested. There are rumors going around that there are CIA agents circulating in the crowds, and just enough idiots to believe it to make being foreign in the protest a tad dicier. (Foreign people are so freaking paranoid about the CIA! Jeez, a government organization without controls or checks takes down just a FEW South American and African countries and suddenly nobody trusts them anymore!)

Agent L stayed home last night. She did four loads of laundry and drank beer on the porch with Hannah, whom she has sorely missed over the past week.

I haven’t seen Hannah, because she, like a lot of my friends and twitter world acquaintances, chooses not to be in the fray. Hannah, being the terrifyingly competent woman that she is, has chosen to mine her contacts at the state department to find out who the best person to write what letter to is. She’s been contacting embassies. She’s been pulling her weight on the diplomatic side of things. She considers that to be a better use of her time than squeezing lemons in her face and being jostled by a crowd. I agree with her. I personally don’t have any state department contacts, and I’m probably more useful as a warm body in the crowd, and possibly useful as a somewhat credible witness to events.

I’m sorry to say though, that she’s gotten some sideways looks for choosing not to be gassed.

In the past day or two I’ve noticed that the protests have become a dick swinging contest for a lot of ex-pats. “Oh you were in Gezi last night? Pshh. I was in Kabataş.” “Kabataş?! Pussy. I was in Beşiktaş.” “Yeah but were you on the barricades? I was on the barricades. I got hit by a rock! See?” “Y’all are all pussies. I was Dolmabahce when shit went down.” etc. etc. etc.

Oh yeah? Well I spent the night on the porch drinking beer with my best pal, speculating about Erdoğan’s return. I did stub my toe in the kitchen, though. Viva la revolution!

 

 

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This entry was posted in Ex-pat, Gezi Park, Istanbul, Taksim. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Dick Swinging Contest

  1. Kelly S. says:

    Too funny! Dick swinging indeed!

  2. Someone with a lot of AKParty friends who are no longer my friends anymore. says:

    Tsk, you are just a pussy Agent L. I was surfing the Internet in my jimmy jams. Beat that.

    • agentlabroad says:

      What are you, Che Guavera?

      • Someone with a lot of AKParty friends who are no longer my friends anymore. says:

        More Citizen Smith than Che Guevara. Citizen Smith ponders the question posed. Is Agent L saying “Who are you ? Do I know you?” Or is she saying, “Who the hell is this guy ? Does he think he is Che Guevara ?” Well, all I have to say is, “Free Toooting!”

      • agentlabroad says:

        Oh we do love a man of mystery, but we wouldn’t ask you to blow your cover in these dangerous times.

      • Someone with a lot of AKParty friends who are no longer my friends anymore. says:

        AgentL. We must meet some time. Moscow Rules. Look for the drawing pin stuck in the bottom of your village policeman. To show that you have seen it you must approach said policeman, remove said drawing pin (hopefully without being noticed) and mark said bottom with chalk mark. Moscow Rules only. Look for the man in the beret.

      • agentlabroad says:

        To find out who I truly am, simply go to the park at sunset. At 7:50 precisely, the sun will illuminate a small rock behind the third park bench from the left, facing North. Beneath that rock is a message written in reverse. Hold it up to a mirror. You will need a copy of The Infinite Jest to decode.

  3. Alan says:

    . . that’s different – a counter-revolutionary take – good laugh too, need some of those.

  4. agentlabroad says:

    Ooooohhhh… I love a man of mystery. But I’d never ask you to blow your cover. Far too dangerous in times like these.

    • Someone with a lot of AKParty friends who are no longer my friends anymore. says:

      Agent L. I have followed ze intruktions. I have gone to ze secret source of inforrmations that you has given me that is called torrents and now have ze audio form of ze code book. I will be playing the code book zis day.and will complete your instruction.

      • agentlabroad says:

        Apparently WordPress classifies horrible fake german accents (russian? hard to tell) as spam.
        Agent L was going to invite Agent From Someone with a lot of AKParty friends who are no longer friends (please do consumer test your choice of field names in the future) out for a lovely pre-Gezi drink or nineteen tomorrow, but feels that with recent developments she’ll be too busy juggling field work with not giving her beloved mama a heart attack.

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